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Great Rivalry is the ninth episode of the tenth series of Shameless.

Plot

Jamie begins to worry when the silent phone calls he has been receiving turn out not to be so innocent. Somehow a stash of "product" has been destroyed and left in their place is the slashed dress of his wife Karen. On top of all this someone has been attempting to steal money from his bank account. Things soon come to a head when Karen is attacked in front of Connor and left with a note warning that Jamie has 24 hours to leave Manchester forever.

Avril begins sneaking Chatsworth residents's samples into the lab at the GP practice where she works. Adding to the medication she already steals and sells, she is quickly becoming a black market doctor and Jackson is worried where it will end. Things take a turn though when results for Patty reveal that she may be dying.

Assuming she must have the Lukemia that killed multiple members of her family, Patty decides to get her bucket list done. Including such noble acts as trashing Chesco, calling a baby ugly and telling Kelly, Mimi and Gloria exactly what she thinks of them.

Lillian reveals that she was born in South Africa and isn't actually a British citizen. Now that she wants a passport she has no choice but to take a citizenship exam and Kelly is left with the unenviable job of training her.

Frank comes up with a novel way of counting all the women he has had sex with: the six degrees of separation. He reveals that through this he has had sex with every person on the Chatsworth Estate...everyone except a lonely old man named Barry who he refuses to let be his "greatest, and only, failure in life".

Post Credit Scene

Shane and Chesney are sat smoking at the table outside Chesco. Shane says "oh yeah, I've had her" and points at a blonde woman across the road. "And her" and points and a black haired woman, Chesney replies "well I've had her" pointing at a different blonde woman. They continue pointing out various girls they've had sex with, Shane mentioning that he's slept with one girl and her sister causing Chesney to counter that he has had their mother. Chesney points to another girl he had sex with, and Shane replied that he had her ex-husbands second wife. Chesney suddenly looks disgusted and says "which means..." they both stand up as Shane says "I've had you!" This is of course a continuation of Frank's theory of six degrees of sexual separation from the episode.

Cast

Regular Cast

Guest Cast

  • Ian Munzberger - Benny
  • Stephen Aintree - Barney
  • Jamie Davis - Calum
  • Kevin Sutton - Man with Covered Face

Notes

Quotes

Patty: [Looking at baby in pram] Awww, boy or girl?
Mother: Girl.
Patty: That's the ugliest fecking baby I ever saw. Looks like the Michelin Man 
eat Angel Delight and took a dump.
Patty: You! It is time you embarked on the rest of your life and stopped 
dressing, and behaving like a jack russel in lipstick and heels.
Kelly: I beg your pardon!
Patty: Another couple of years and folk will start thinking you actually are a 
transvestite rather than simply resembling one.
Mimi: Who spiked your sherry?
Patty: Ahhh, from Middle Earth comes the dulcet tones of a Scouse scank unleashed.
Mimi: Who the fuck do you think your...
Patty: Now, get back in your box. You've the face that sank a thousand ships, no 
wonder your husband ran off to be with the lady boys. As for you...
Gloria: Wheelchair or not, I will kick you in the minge. 
Patty: That's all one needs to know about you.

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